i watched him die. i held him in my arms and saw the life drain out of his uncomprehending eyes. i watched him die.
they shot my bike out from under me. two yahoos with a big gun driving where no law could reach them. they left me bloody under the burning teardrop gas tank. fire consumed the stars and stripes that had been painted there.
and now i'm here again, in "the old hometown". only, it doesn't look the same. (i watched him die.)
how are you gonna go back when everything has changed?
pool games on a friday night. lonely girls, sad derelict beauties in search of a love connection they think they'll only get thru sex. old drunks who know too much to be mad at anyone. these are my companions in the neon-lit darkness of the bars.
i lie awake for days smoking, stare at the damp rot circle in the ceiling and wait for it to fall. old freaks come by with roaches gossip plans. i send them all away. i can't stand them anymore. i can't stand anyone.
i get a gun. (I WATCHED HIM DIE). my plan is to decorate my bathroom walls with blood, join Billy where it doesn't hurt. tomorrow. today there is no reason. today there's nothing but the memory of his face in death.
every time i shut my eyes i watch him die again
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